Gone Now is the second album by Bleachers (Jack Antonoff), released June 2, 2017. After listening to it many, many times, here are some of my thoughts on it. 

Review originally posted on Medium

Gone Now feels like a story. Like a tragedy simultaneously unfolding and being dealt with, all between music that isn’t devastatingly sad, that isn’t energetically joyful, but walks that perfect bittersweet line in between. You can’t decide between triumphantly celebrating surviving something you never thought you’d survive, or collapsing into yourself with leftover devastation. The music feels anxious and sad but also distinctively hopeful and full to the brim with courage.

Bleachers has always, to me, felt like the kind of music you maybe find yourself humming to because it’s so catchy, and then you really sit back and listen to the lyrics and the meaning, and it’s devastating, and so powerful, and it hits you so hard with its depth and emotional complexity as you explore it further.

Gone Now has exactly that type of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Sure, at the end of the day, it’s still an album that’s being bought and heard by thousands and thousands of others around the world, likely sometimes at the same time you’re listening to it. But you still feel, in the dead of the night, that it’s you and you alone with the music.

Personally, Gone Now feels like someone waking up one morning and slowly saying goodbye to the world. Fading away bit by bit, in a deeply introspective and personal montage. It’s a whole life condensed into a day, a weekend. Waking up, walking through the world, then they’re gone. As Jack mentioned in an interview before, this album reflects an idea about what everything would be like if he’s gone, and the cover of the album is what he envisions his picture would be like displayed at his funeral.

In that vein, and amongst all the complex issues Gone Now explores, this album really does condense a lot of emotional power into twelve tracks. It’s grief, loss, recovery, farewell, love, heartbreak, falling apart and holding yourself together, all woven between powerful melodies and layers and layers of sound and catchy vocals and music.

Simply put, it’s a certain type of catharsis coming alive in the form of an album.

Recurring themes tie the album together into a cohesive journey; no song really stands in a vacuum on its own, even though each has a distinct enough sound, setting them apart. Self references, repeated phrases, everything creates a cyclic story that makes the album less a collection of songs sat together and more of an interconnected emotional story from beginning to end. Initially, ‘Dream of Mickey Mantle’ directly references ‘I Miss Those Days’ and ‘Don’t Take the Money’; “I miss those days so I sing a don’t take the money song.” But there are so many more threads within the album.

Saying goodbye. Moving on. Leaving. Lost. Rolling thunder and cursed bedrooms. Strangers. Street corners. I gotta get myself back home soon. I just gotta get home.

Goodmorning, to the cops, to the kids, anyone who lent me a favour. Goodbye, to the friends I had, to my upstairs neighbour, to the kids downstairs, to the dream downstairs, anybody who lent me a favour.

And the very end of the album, at the end of Foreign Girls: “Goodbye…You should know that I loved you all.”

The honesty and devastation in the album never loses its impact even dozens of listens later. It’s an emotional concept album, and it feels, at the end of the day, exactly what a second Bleachers album would sound like. As a huge fan of Jack’s music, I didn’t fully know what I was waiting for, only that I was eagerly awaiting new Bleachers music, but after listening to the album, I knew I was waiting for this.

Apart from the themes and emotional impact of the album, sonically, there are so many intricate layers to every song that I’m still a little in awe every time I relisten to the album.

Jack recently posted the Making Of videos of 'Don’t Take The Money' and 'Goodmorning' on his Youtube channel. Amongst many other things, little intricate details like the sounds of the street recorded and played in the background of 'Don’t Take The Money', the harp in the background of the song that gives it its deeply bittersweet emotion; the trumpet in 'Goodmorning', the warped voice recordings — all these little details that we don’t consciously notice listening to the music, but which really, really complete the songs — all of those details give Bleachers’ music the depth that I really love about it time and time again.

Along the line of Bleachers’ music, on a final note, Gone Now also feels in some ways like a musical sequel to Strange Desire. The ‘I’m Ready To Move On’ in the 11th track of Gone Now. The “I wanna be grateful” that can be heard at a few points in the album. And also, if I sit down and listen to Strange Desire from beginning to end, and have ‘Who I Want You To Love’ fade into ‘Dream of Mickey Mantle’, it has an almost natural progression forward.

Gone Now is almost definitely one of my favourite albums of the year, and it’s not even mid July yet. It’s an emotional and incredible musical experience at any time, but personally, it really does have a special impact listened to at night — on a long drive, on a walk through the neighbourhood alone, lying in bed before falling asleep.

There are so many more things that could be said but what it really comes down to is that this is definitely an album that deserves a listen — then several dozen relistens. And many, many more.

Recently went to the Jock Tears tape release show at the Matador (with The Jins and Basic Nature opening), and wrote a review of it for CiTR's Discorder (UBC's radio station/publication) with Discorder's RLA editor.

Jock Tears w/The Jins, Basic Nature

The Matador; October 7, 2016

Descending a set of wooden stairs, I was greeted with the graffitied walls and cosy atmosphere of the Matador. It was a small, intimate room that soon became filled with people looking for a good show on a Friday night. Familiar greetings echoed through the venue as those already present mingled on couches and benches, waiting for the opening acts to start.

The lights dimmed and The Jins, a local and well loved three-piece, opened the night with an impressive wall of energy that overtook the packed basement.

...

Keep reading on CiTR's website here

Book/Literature Rec (March 9th, 2016)
(Where I write non-professionally and non-systematically about books or literary texts I enjoyed. Not so much of a review or a serious recommendation as much as it is me just putting a bunch of personal thoughts down and keeping a record of things I loved reading.)

All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
A book club book in school, All The Light We Cannot See is a brilliant novel that threads its way through World War II through the experiences of a young soldier and a young blind girl, both caught in their own ways in the conflict and turmoil of the war. Reading this book feels a lot like re-raveling an unraveled spool of yarn, or several of them, following one train of inevitable events alongside another strand of inevitable circumstances until finally having them all tangle back together in a very neat and quite powerful story. We start with the ending, and then jump backwards and forwards through time, each jump leaping a shorter time in months and years, and eventually connect all the dots and see the bigger picture for what it is, and it’s a somber and quite emotionally resonating bigger picture. It’s packed rich with information and of time, history, connection and communication, and humanity.

The chapters are short, short but powerful, and the emotion – Werner’s increasing sense of guilt and regret, Maurie-Laude’s fear but also endurance, and wonder – resonates through every word and sentence, and the other characters, from Etienne to Marie-Laude’s father to Frederick and Volkheimer, are quite unforgettable as well, each and every one of them a reflection of a slightly different experience and perspective of the war.

A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
Being a play I studied in class, regardless it is still one of the best literary texts I’ve ever had the opportunity to read. It is helped, probably, by the fact that I also had the joy (honor) of watching it on screen (NT Live, directed by Benedict Andrews, starring Gillian Anderson, Ben Foster, Corey Johnson, and Vanessa Kirby) and the incredible and moving performance by the entire cast, plus just everything in the entire production, that brought it completely to life in my mind. Watching Streetcar was also one of the absolute favorite memories and experiences I’ve had.

For me, this play, both on paper and on stage, is a true work of art that is both incredibly beautiful but also simultaneously devastatingly violent and tragic; a play that complements light, sound, color, setting, human complexity and fragility, dialogue, and symbolism – an expressionist piece of theatre that details the psychological downfall of Blanche DuBois but also in its midst explores so many other themes around human conflict, delusion, violence… It is a play that I think will have a slightly different impact on everyone, and everyone will probably have something different to take from it. It was not a lighthearted happy ending fun kind of play, but really an emotionally devastating one that was so brilliantly written.

I don’t really know what else to say, as this play has been so critically acclaimed all over and analyzed countless times already. I suppose I’ll just say that, to me, it was so resounding and powerful that I ended up buying several more of Williams’ plays not long after studying Streetcar (one of them is The Glass Menagerie which I practically wrote an essay about below).

Anyways, Tennessee Williams truly is a phenomenal playwright. And his essays (a few of which I read as they are included in the physical copies of the plays I bought), are very well written as well.

The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams
Much like Streetcar, The Glass Menagerie is a tragic play – executed in a synchronized complement of music, light, color, and dialogue – a play that doesn’t hold back with its painful hopelessness, in more ways than one. This is a play that almost flawlessly captures the sense of a fantasy and a delusion’s inability to withstand reality, and the struggle with responsibility and reality itself. It is a depiction of a family lost in a whole myriad of other similar families at the time; there is a desperation for a better life and better times that results only in conflict and deception, and finally shattering disappointment in the end, in a slightly different way for everyone in the family. It is both slightly surreal to see how it unfolds but also painfully realistic (and still relevant in today’s society in a way, where there is still that same struggle amongst many working people for a fantasy and for something better than the staunch responsibility of reality – though it might just be more prevalent with certain social classes – middle? – than others.)

There is a sense that every character wants a certain freedom – by going away, by losing themselves in fantasy and in the past – but also a deep sense that they are all hopelessly trapped. It is a memory play, and in the way that we are looking back into the past at an inevitable tragedy that has already occurred, there is an even deeper sense of devastation towards it. And as it is a depiction of the past from a human mind, its exaggeration and unreality at times to me only serve to make the play more dramatically impactful.

What I personally enjoyed most about reading this play is how its beautifully expressionistic style is used to accentuate the characters and the family’s internal troubles and disenchantment. There are similarities with Streetcar I see too - the 'lurid reflections' in certain scenes and the Varsouviana can parallel with some of the images and music used in The Glass Menagerie. The stage directions throughout The Glass Menagerie not only indicate what the characters/actors should be doing, but also instructions for images and text played out that foreshadow dialogue, reflect a character’s internal world, add imagery and symbolism that deepen the audience’s captivation with what is on stage or on screen. The directions for music that are also found throughout are also incredibly symbolic and emotionally devastating, and to me Williams here on paper and black and white ink is painting out a masterpiece of a small family, frozen in its own time, which springs immediately to life in sound and action and emotion.

This play is an old play (though evidently compared to plays like Hamlet and Macbeth, not old in the slightest), and we can see clear depictions of traditional gender-based expectations, and the suffocating enforced gender roles on people through Amanda’s stark expectations for her daughter, but also of Tom. These depictions and expectations are possibly realistic for their time, but arguably much of the outdated expectations and societal norms of the past should remain in the past.

I myself probably cannot adequately speak for Laura and the depiction of her disability; it is not entirely in my place to do so. But I think I would’ve appreciated a slightly greater exploration of her character. In much of the play what we see is what her mother vocally defines of her and expects her to be, often to her face (and her mother’s view of her disability at times is troubling and insensitive, and arguably ableist). However on the other hand I do appreciate that at the end of the day Laura is really not an easy-to-define character, (definitely more than what her mother makes of her) and not simply a two dimensional fusion of stereotypes. There is a complexity to her and how she holds herself, and the play’s portrayal of her in the limited space and time, that I think is written well. I’d like to hear more about this aspect though, because I’ve read a few different perspectives on it and it’d be good to hear more.

In the end though, I personally found this play, once again, an artistic masterpiece like Streetcar, and certain themes and techniques run common threads between the two. Tennessee Williams continues to be a playwright I admire a great deal. The Glass Menagerie was not easy to read at times (and I’d imagine even more difficult to watch) – it is definitely incredibly sad and painful. As Williams even vocalized, The Glass Menagerie is “the saddest play I have ever written. It is full of pain. It is painful for me to see it.” But to me there is a reason that this play has survived and flourished despite of or possibly because of the ‘pain’ that is portrayed in it, a reason that it has been studied and acted and re-acted countless times since its first premier in 1944 – because its issues and portrayal of so much of the essence and flaws of human nature are still very relevant to today. If I would ever be able to see it performed on stage, I’d definitely go see it.

Game Recs

I don't normally play that many games, but once in a while I find some quick indie ones online that I give a go usually just to unwind between other stuff I'm doing. I recently played three that are pretty interesting- nothing big or complicated- and I thought I'd share. 

…But That Was [Yesterday]

http://jayisgames.com/games/but-that-was-yesterday/

A very quick game (takes around 10 minutes), but a good concept that’s executed simply and beautifully. Quite a morose and melancholy journey of someone running away (…and ultimately towards) their memories and past, and what they lost. It’s more or less a platform narrative, but a touching story. Go ahead and give it a play. 

no-one has to die

http://die.clay.io/game/die

Trigger warning for death

Wow. This is an incredibly intelligent and thought provoking game. Talking about it at all will spoil it, so please just go play it. It won’t take long- probably just half an hour. Very clever, very well written, I loved it. (Heads up: It didn’t work properly on my Chrome browser, I used Firefox- if you can’t see the scenes where the characters are chatting to each other and can only see the “Skip” button play the game in another browser. Also if you’re like me and you’re easily spooked by really the strangest things, don’t play it alone in the dark in the middle of the night like I did) 

the thing i dont want to think about

http://confrontthething.com/

I played this a while back when I was on holiday with a complete lack of wifi. An interesting game with a great concept- as the title implies, you are running from something dark and obscure (you don’t quite know what it is, it’s only called The Thing) that you’re trying not to think about or deal with, comforted only by Frinchfry, your childhood friend teddy bear. Eventually though you can't run away from it forever, and you're forced to face it for what it really is. A bit longer than the other two but I think it's worth a go. 

I was going to wait until I've read five new books that I liked enough to recommend before making this post- but the school term has just started so I might as well just start it off with three recs that I wrote before. It's been a while anyways.
I wrote each of these immediately after I finished reading the book, so I wouldn't forget things I thought about them.

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande

Sometimes a book changes my entire perspective on something, that shifts my worldview of a certain issue to something else entirely. This book did just that. Now I’m not planning to study medicine, or become a doctor. No one in my family is in the medical field, and the most contact I have with healthcare directly is when I or a loved one gets deathly ill, which fortunately (at the moment) isn’t too common. All that taken into consideration, this book was still one of the most insightful ones I’ve ever read.
It’s written by a surgeon and his view and experience with the medical world. As it turns out, the health care system’s problems don’t just fall under waiting times and expensive financial expenditures (though okay, those too). It’s also contained within the attitude of medicine itself.
Speaking for myself, when I used to think of medical care I thought of doctors saving lives, patients on the brink of painful death yanked from it with miracle drugs and intense shows of surgical mastery. I also thought it was pretty depressing, what with all the illness, the suffering, the death. I’d never even really thought of other parts of the field like genealogy and elderly care, which is something explored in the first half of the book. Hint- it’s more relevant than you think.
You’d think that life in medical care is a simple question of live or not live. Be cured or not be cured. You survive or you don’t. Often it becomes stanched and quantitative; you think of saving lives, not preserving well being. And by well being it isn’t just being physically cured from disease- it’s emotional and mental well being, fulfillment, personal agency and independence- matters that don’t seem that much of a priority (as long as the doctors are keeping you alive for as long as possible, right?), until they do become priority. A priority that people, and doctors, neglect to consider under the fear and pressure of serious illness and death.
Do you take the chemotherapy that may or may not extend your life by a few years, but will definitely confine you mostly to hospital beds, check ups, and side effects, or do you not take what the doctors tell you is the most aggressive treatment, and spend your last few months at home with your family fulfilling the quality that some people at death lack so much? Why are seniors in senior homes generally so unhappy even though they have everything to sustain them healthily? What is that element of life we so much required and need for our well being but so missing from the medical field the majority of the time? It’s not so much how we fight for our lives sometimes. It’s why we do so.
I can’t even begin to touch upon the issues in this book. All I can say is that it will, if not change, open your perspectives, make you rethink everything about life, death, medical care, well being and humanity, and is an absolute incredible read for anyone- whether you’re involved in healthcare or not. Some things I learned from this book may and probably will help me make the right decisions medically when I’m inevitably faced with medical difficulty- personally, or of a family member or friend. 

Keeping You A Secret by Julie Anne Peters

This was an incredibly moving and emotional novel to me. It’s pretty rare that I find something I literally cannot put down (many books I don’t even end up finishing, others take a lot of time), but this book really did it for me. I’m super grateful for stories that honestly explore the issues but also the day to day life of young people of the community (in this case two gay girls who end up falling in love). It’s also not that common to find a story like that that isn’t incredibly tragic or superficial, but this story is far, far from that. Accessible and intelligent and very real (anyone can and should read it), novels like these are a real treasure.

To put it simply, it’s about a girl named Holland’s coming out (to herself and eventually to others), and the process and consequences. It isn’t a breeze for her or Cece (the girl she likes), and she faces numerous problems that definitely aren’t uncommon for gay teenagers. But the story is tinged with hope too, and an emotional honesty that will keep me coming back to read and recommend this novel again and again. 

Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho

Once in a while I come across a book and because of little more than curiosity, knowing little or nothing of the author or the content, I open and read and see what happens. Most of the time this leap of faith doesn’t yield too remarkable results- not that a book isn’t good, but sometimes it just doesn’t suit me. But occasionally I come across a real gem, one that really opens my mind and perspective and enlightens me in some way or another, even if that enlightenment is little more than learning something new about an aspect of life I rarely even think about. The best way to sum up this book is this- it’s a collection of philosophical, spiritual, and introspective essays and stories by writer Paulo Coelho. In them you’ll find tidbits of wisdom on life, on living with hope and an open mind, of facing challenges with an honest heart, of the morality and spirituality of being human, and many philosophical ideas on that tangent. 

Now I’m not a religious person, I don’t practice any faith, and I am not the most spiritual person either, unless you count my own set of morals and experiences, but probably not. However I didn’t have to be religious in any way shape or form to connect with even the most deeply spiritual elements in this collection (although I’m sure you’ll find that some of the writing here can be quite easily generalized to anyone, and not all of them focus on religion anyways). It’s interesting anyhow to be open to considering the lifestyles and beliefs of others- someway or another it will eventually connect with your own anyways. I didn’t agree with everything I read in this book- there were some parts I went, well, that’s just not quite true in my case, or, I guess I’ll just have to agree to disagree- but that’s good and very necessary sometimes. This was still very eye opening and a wise read, and I certainly learned a lot that has influenced, even just a little, myself and how I see my life. I’d recommend this book to pretty much anyone- I can almost guarantee that even the most atheist atheist can find something here to connect to and appreciate. Such a beautiful collection of writing. The essays and stories are quite short as well, so you can easily read one or two just waiting for the bus.

Here are some book recs of the books I've read and enjoyed in the last two or three months. I wrote each of the reviews (well, commentaries) immediately after I finished the book so it would be fresh. Hope they're alright!

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Just finished this novel-and the first word that comes to mind is- “powerful.” This is such an emotionally raw, beautifully crafted, incredibly heart jerking story. It deals with a lot of issues such as suicide, racism, families-though that barely scrapes the surface of the depth of this story-so it’s definitely not a light hearted happy novel to read. But I’d definitely recommend it, it’s just that you probably need a lot of time and energy to digest everything that happens in this book and everything it deals with. I had to take a break in between just to gather my thoughts and what I was feeling, as it’s such a serious and honest exploration of this one family and its past, present, and future, revolving around the death of Lydia, who is one of the daughters. I think what is so impactful is how at home it can hit-everything that happens and is explored isn’t a foreign fantasy, it could be things that affect almost anyone.

If you’re interested, read it, and read it again-more slowly the second time because the first time you might be rushing through it, just to find answers, to find out what will happen, what did happen-because this really is a powerfully raw story that will leave its mark in some way or another no matter what.

The emotions are still sinking in, and I know that the impact this story has is not going away any time soon.

An Astronaut’s Guide To Life On Earth by Chris Hadfield

I absolutely adored this book. It’s jam packed with incredibly relevant, witty, intelligent wisdom from an experienced astronaut about work, ethics-life in general, really. It turns out space is more down to earth than what anyone would expect. I’ve learned a lot from this book and some of his words have rung true very much-in fact a few of the philosophies and tid-bits I’ve already applied to parts of my own life as well. Even if you don’t read it for the wisdom (and there is plenty!), read it for the information about space travel, astronauts, science, NASA, and just a ton of stories in general about Chris Hadfield’s life-an inspiring one, and now you can experience it too. This book has taught me a lot and is just really fun and interesting at the same time as being intelligent and bursting with information.

Everything Leads To You by Nina LaCour

This was a joy to read and had so many elements I loved and appreciated- a very interesting insight into a career I didn’t know much about before hand (the main character, Emi, is a set designer), great characters, engrossing plot, and last but definitely not least, a wonderful healthy portrayal of two girls falling in love. Oh, and it has a happy ending too, which is very appreciated.

It’s quite an easy and interesting read-the plot isn’t too complicated, but it’s well done enough to make this story a cozy one that I really enjoyed going through, though there were heart jerking moments too. I’d recommend this to almost anyone- it’s not a particular set genre, rather quite a few genres intertwined. It’s a sweet novel. 

Nobody Is Ever Missing by Catherine Lacey

I was recommended this book and I’m very glad I decided, almost spontaneously, to pick it up last night and start reading. It’s now 12:53 pm the very next day and I just finished reading what was an incredibly challenging but thought provoking and emotional novel. It’s written in the narrative voice of a woman who has run away from her home and her husband, and most of the novel was a train of thought, a speculative, metaphorical, winding, intelligent, at times powerfully emotional, monologue. The style of this novel was quite unique; it was almost completely a monologue overlapping the unfolding of the story of this woman. Some sentences get very long-like I said, it is, a lot of the time, a train of thought, that really forces the reader to drift this gray area between reality and delusion. So it’s not exactly a light hearted story to read and laugh at while drinking morning coffee. I was nearly in tears at one point, at other points I was sitting there completely re-evaluating everything, or feeling a powerful intimacy between the narrator’s thoughts and my own that left me feeling like every bit of me had just been dissected inside and out.

It was challenging, not in a technical way but in an emotional way. It’ll challenge you to think about and look at your life and yourself and at points it took my emotions and consciousness, send them through a washing machine, wrung them out passionately, and left them to dry out in the wind.

That’s the best metaphor I can come up with at the moment. I would definitely recommend this novel, it’s quite heavy and a lot of the time the narrator’s train of thought can get really pretty personal and you might feel it ring sensitive chords in your own life as well, but it is a unique and brilliant piece of writing. It really is an experience best experienced in a few consecutive hours of frenzied intense page flipping, thinking, and feeling. It is bleak, it is intelligent, it’s packed full of brilliance and takes you on a reality-transcending introspective journey that will leave you rightfully exhausted at the end.

Book Recs 1.0
Very much inspired by book recommendations of people I know or look up to, and the wonderful literature course I've been taking for a term and a half now, I've decided to do something I've wanted to for many years but have never done- making a list of book recommendations, both as a personal record of books I've loved and also just a way for me to gush over them and recommend them in general.
I should really do this more often in the future, but for now please enjoy this definitely this non-comprehensive list of books I have enjoyed since birth to present day. It's only a few of many, but they're all wonderful novels I've loved thoroughly.

The Outsiders by SE Hinton
I fell so much in love with this book when I read it at the tender age of just starting secondary school. I remembered typing out almost every other quote in the novel onto a word document because I wanted to treasure it, and just ended up buying the book months later. Such an intelligent and realistic coming of age novel about different social classes (the Greasers and the Socs), very rich characters and dynamics, and ultimately-even though I don't remember everything in the book- such a powerful story about youth, growing up, social class differences, and some of the tough things that youth face on the streets and in and around homes. I remember relating a lot to many parts of it even though my life at that time was incredibly different from the lives of the boys in the book- it just touches on many universal themes and ideas that any young adult-or anyone really-can relate to. Would definitely recommend- it's not very long and it can really be finished in one glorious sitting. 

The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling
Really a no-brainer, of course.

Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden
This novel is going to be one of those on my book shelf with a tattered cover and yellowed pages from a million rereads in a few years. I read it very quickly in a blur on holiday, genuinely rushed through it because it was so wonderful. A great LGBTQIA+ story about a girl named Liza who falls in love with another girl called Annie. Such a sweet story that I genuinely think everyone would enjoy in some way or another. It also has a very positive message about being proud of who you are, accepting who you are, and a nice happy ending. I remember almost being in tears, but not in a bad way. It left me feeling ultimately very hopeful and light hearted. A must read.

The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
I was blown away about how great this novel was. When I first read it I had bought it second hand off an older student in school, and I decided to start reading on the way back home-a forty five minute train ride which enabled me to finish the majority of the novel because I was so immersed and physically couldn't put it down. I remember describing it as a "raw, honest, amazingly powerful novel about morality and more, that inspires me to the core- to write better, to read more." In fact I wrote a short story shortly after finishing The Reader because I was so moved. I don't want to ruin too much of the plot (much of the emotional impact just comes from reading it through and letting it play out), but it's a powerful historical novel revolving around World War 2 (but not in the way you'd expect) that deals with issues such as literacy, morality, identity, national identity, the collective guilt of the second generation Germans, and the characters' psyche through an interesting structure and the narrative voice of Michael Berg. Although the narration can be quite different from other novels- almost matter of fact- I found it all the more raw and powerful that way. It can make you question a lot of things, especially since there are questions and ideas posed directly to you as you read it. I would read this again and again-and then read it again.

The Giver by Lois Lowry
Read this during primary school and the very beaten up copy lives in my bookshelf at the moment. But it can be a wonderful read for anyone. There's a reason why this book won an award and is seriously well-acclaimed. I haven't reread it for a while so excuse my maybe more vague recall of it, but let's just say it's a fascinating story about a non-typical futuristic society (I would say dystopian in a way, though it seems utopian at first) where there is no genuine emotion, no colour, and a lack of any real depth at all, and an incredibly eerie feeling to it, even from the very beginning. There's a reason it's called Sameness. The only people in that society who can access emotion and the contexts of the past is the Receiver- someone who holds the memories, both good and bad-including the emotions, colours, people, sights, sounds, everything-of the past. I don't want to ruin the story because once again this is one of those novels which requires reading through and experiencing all the revelations as it appears, but it'll leave you probably questioning or looking at our reality in a very different way. For a novel that deals with a society that is void of true emotion, this story will leave emotional imprints on you that linger with for a long, long time. And not in a bad way.

The Tale of Desperaux by Kate DiCamillo
Once again, I read this during primary school and loved it. Quite a strange but very endearing novel about the importance of stories, love, soup, a mouse, a rat, a young girl, and a princess. Hard to describe, but I would definitely read this- it's like a lovely fairy tale with surprising elements and just a wonderful fantasy.

Going Bovine by Libba Bray
First and foremost I'd like to apologize for not remembering many plot details about this novel as I read it a long time ago, but I've continued mentioning this book every time I talk about my favourite novels as it had such a great impact. Truly an adventure that goes through a frenzy of almost dream-like settings and characters and pretty much touches upon on everything and anything at all, it follows a dying boy on a series of experiences that will leave you feeling both bewildered and ultimately changed at the end. It's every surrealist painting you've seen done in letters and words. It's dark, it's beautiful, it's something you'd want to take on road trips and read in a tent with a flashlight under the stars. I can't do this book any justice here by just talking about it aimlessly, just go read it. And then pinch yourself and wonder if you're actually dreaming after you're done.

Looking For Alaska/Paper Towns by John Green 
I've loved both these John Green books; I read Looking For Alaska on holiday in Bali a year or two back and highlighted and wrote all over it, Paper Towns I read at home on the couch and didn't get up until it was finished. John Green is clearly already a very acclaimed author for good reason- two novels that deal with teenagers, existentialism, and just the issues that youth face in general. Both are more (young) adult novels that can deal with some mature themes but I enjoyed both of them very much. I remember pretty clearly that Paper Towns felt like a thriller at some points from the emotion I felt-but then again I was very much deeply into the story when reading it and didn't re-emerge until hours later.

The Assault by Harry Mulisch
Another historical novel that is just packed full of intelligent themes and the more you look into it, the more you'll find. It starts off with the shooting and assassination of Fake Ploeg Senior, a German Nazi Collaborator, by two people of the Dutch Resistance. The shooting started a chain of events for a young boy named Anton at that time, who had to watch his house burn down and his family taken away forever in one night because of the aftermath. Most of the novel deals with Anton's future, and him trying to escape his past, but at the same time his childhood tragedy returning again and again to his older self. Pieces of the puzzle emerge again and again throughout the novel, and at the end you finally learn the whole story of what and why things happened that night. Such an interesting story that was impossible not to dive head first in- I read it sitting at my desk and finished it rapidly, and was so emotionally invested in it I actually took a nap afterwards because of how much brain power and otherwise I was using to fully experience the novel. Some great themes like morality, making sense and coming to terms with the past, and the ethics of war.

Holes by Louis Sachar
Of course I'm going to include Holes on this list. A great novel about a boy named Stanley Yelnats who is sent to a disciplinary camp to dig holes in a dried up lake every day, but that's only the beginning. At first it seems simple-just a few amazingly endearing and well developed characters who follow the same routine and suffer through the gritty hard work day after day-but it quickly gets very interesting and complex. This novel deals with several stories at once-including many of the past and of Stanley's past-just via the setting of Camp Green Lake. There's almost no way anyone wouldn't enjoy this to some extent, and the movie adaption is great too. Read read read!

There are so many more books I could put onto this list but I'll just have these for now.One of my resolutions for 2015 is definitely to read more books so hopefully more of these to come!