what's left unsaid
for a while now,
these words hidden buried in pockets
clenched tightly inside sweaty palms,
forming confessions, prayers,
intertwined with the lint and $1.25 loose change.

over and over ive memorised how they felt in the dark,
but i could never let them out.

is it a lie that i never let them see the light?
wrap them in apologies (too little, too late, i know),
leave them by your bedside window
for you to find on the evening i pack my bags,
walk out the door and leave everything behind.

and maybe that will be the heaviest regret of all.

--------

random burst of inspiration on a bus ride with a great view of the sunset.

also thinking of possibly remaking this blog (keeping the content but changing it a lot site wise) so am busy looking into a lot of that as of this moment. 

One of my favourite songs. I originally tried to upload this with the studio version but because of copyright I replaced it with an instrumental/karaoke backing track. One part at the start is a bit off because I originally recorded over the studio version and not this one, but the rest of the song should be alright. I got the instrumental backing track from here (all credit for the instrumental goes to their channel) -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK_1Ldh6ClA

Pretty fun song to play. Use earphones/headphones to hear the bass clearly!

Thank you to UG for helping out!
https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/t/the_1975/somebody_else_btab.htm

New album on Bandcamp: aristhought.bandcamp.com
Instagram: @aristhought

Equipment/instruments+
-Fender Blacktop Bass
-Focusrite Scarlett Studio
-Garageband
-Canon Legria HF R76

All rights for original song go to rightful owners- this is done for non-commercial and personal use only. The usage of this material is under guidelines of fair use. Material remains under all rights of owner and is only used here for nonprofit, critique, and educational purposes. No copyright infringement is intended with the upload of this video.
Film Talks
In which I write about movies I've watched, from a casual movie-goer's point of view.


Dunkirk (2017)
Director: Christopher Nolan

An incredible film that was made even more amazing by the IMAX experience. Some movies almost need to be enjoyed as an immersive experience, its visuals and sounds being vital to its power on the audience, and this is one of them.

This film has relatively sparse dialogue and subverts a lot of typical tropes in war movies, perfecting the "show, don't tell" method into an art, and is absolutely phenomenal. The visuals that span from wide, rolling shots of the sky in the perspective of the pilots to the tight, claustrophobic shots of drowning soldiers in ships keep you tense, on the edge of your seat, and unable to divert your attention the entire time. The scenes are gorgeous, but also devastating and immediate. You feel right there with them, until you almost forget that you're just sitting in a dark theatre in front of a screen.

The sound is absolutely breathtaking as well; the loudness of the bullets and shrapnel and explosions (which will literally make you jump in an IMAX theatre), along with the rolling soundtrack of Hans Zimmer (and the tension building sound of the stopwatch in the background) really completes the haunting atmosphere of the film. It has moving crescendos and high tension, brief moments of quiet, and it's the sound just as much as the visuals that make the film incredibly emotionally immediate.

Plot and content wise, Dunkirk isn’t so much about heroes and blazing glory, it’s about survival, and this movie shows it very well. We see raw fear, desperation, courage and cowardice, hyper realistic human emotions stripped down to nothing but their bare bones. It has almost no character histories or development, and that is probably slightly different from most movies, but in Dunkirk it works; these soldiers can be almost anyone, and in the end, we don't need to know how they spent their childhoods to focus on the sole purpose of the film - the desperation of survival.

The timelines are a little confusing at first until you realise that the movie is telling three separate storylines that overlap and merge; and it’s the utilisation of these criss crossing perspectives that add a lot of emotive and storytelling power as well. You see tragedies and victories from different angles and from the eyes of different people, and each angle will provide a different perspective and emotional meaning to what is happening.

There are some scenes and breathtaking shots as well that will stay with you forever. I don't want there to be any spoilers in this, but some of the last scenes with the pilot will very easily stick with someone for a long time after the film has finished.

If IMAX isn’t possible, watching it on a bigger screen with good sound quality is pretty much a must; computer screens really can’t do the atmosphere of the film justice. Out of all war films I've watched, Dunkirk is probably one of my all time favourites. Despite having little direct gore and no direct visuals of the enemy, it builds its atmosphere to an effect where neither of the above is necessary - and in fact, makes the story even more compelling. You don't need to focus on excessive blood or seeing enemy soldiers run down to feel the devastation and the evacuating soldiers' fear.

Dunkirk is less focused on characters and interpersonal drama and dialogue - which is arguably suitable for the nature of what this movie is dealing with - but in the end, it still has so much raw emotion and fear and anxiety radiating from it that makes it a very very human experience about war. Dunkirk really does the emotional realism justice.

I don’t know much about history, so its historical accuracies and whether it does that right is not up to me to point out, but from a purely visual, sonic, and film-goer's point of view, this was film was more than worth it to watch. I would recommend seeing it more than once because once things click, seeing it again means noticing all the details that you might have skipped over as you were settling into the movie the first time.

On a last personal note, my favourite storyline was the pilots'. I can’t forget that incredibly powerful final shot of the plane, and even though very few words were exchanged and Tom Hardy's face was barely seen, the emotional power of what was said in so few words and what was shown with only about a quarter of his face, was more than enough.

Made a lyric video for this song out of some old footage I had lying around. Hope you enjoy :) As before the full album is available on Bandcamp and on Payhip. Thank you all for the support!

Afternoon drawing/study; Sketch Daily's prompt (July 26): cathedral
Pretty calming to quickly sketch out and draw. Used pencil + ink pen.
is this home. 
You try to settle within your skin,
the home you were long given,
make your bed between the bones and sinew.
Sometimes you want to tear the greying wallpaper down,
fingernails to wall to wall, corner to corner;
Take a hammer to the floorboards
Pry out all the dead memories and set them free;
Break all the windows, lie on the broken glass,
to just let yourself be.
The locked doors and broken hallways lead nowhere.
You light a match to the dust just so you can see.
I’ll rebuild this house from ashes just to live again;
carve marble staircases from blood sweat and tears.
I’ll rebuild this house just so I can finally breathe.

Gone Now is an amazing album. I love this song and took a while to tab out the bass parts to it, had a great time.
Use earphones/headphones to hear the bass clearly!

Instagram: @aristhought

Equipment/instruments+
-Fender Blacktop Bass
-Focusrite Scarlett Studio
-Garageband
-Canon Legria HF R76

All rights for original song go to rightful owners- this is done for non-commercial and personal use only. The usage of this material is under guidelines of fair use. Material remains under all rights of owner and is only used here for nonprofit, critique, and educational purposes. No copyright infringement is intended with the upload of this video.
A short piece based on this prompt (I take no credit for the original idea):

Very few people in the world are born with unique, strange abilities. Yours is the ability to hear the music of people's souls.

---
An Unheard Song

You take a break from tending your flowers and straighten up, stretching in your neatly grown home garden. A couple strolls past on the street, laughing quietly between themselves. You pause, then you hear it. A soft, happy hum - almost like it's from a fairytale - from one of them, and the sound of excited, energetic guitar riffs from the other. You smile to yourself, and bend back down to tend to your plants.

You've had this gift since childhood. At first, you thought everyone could do it.

"All you have to do is listen," 10 year old you insisted six years ago as you concentrated on your mother's gentle lullaby, one she seemingly couldn't hear, to your bemusement.

Once you got older, you realised that this particular ability of yours is unique - not quite a curse, not quite a gift - just a part of who you are.

The fine details of every soul's song vary as the soul ages, as moods fluctuate and as people grow and change, but it always sticks to the same song, the same instruments and atmosphere, the very defining energy of a human being. When you first met your best friend, her soul's swinging and courageous choruses harmonised perfectly with yours. The reverb and gentle dream like world of your soul melded perfectly with her grand and fantastical one to create another moving song when overlapped. You'll never forget what it sounded like the first time you met.

Since then, both of your songs have grown and developed, but still harmonise in peace just like the very first day. You've been friends for seven years now, and you still remember her song perfectly even though your families have moved miles apart.

The next morning when you return to your front yard with a book and a cup of tea in your hands, there's suddenly a new sound in the neighbourhood, unlike any song you've heard before. It's a quiet melody, with hints of flute and the gentle twinkling of wind chimes, and completely out of the blue. You place your things down and follow the noise, tuning out the others of the neighbourhood - the jazz and the metal and the piano, every soul emitting their own unique songs into the universe.

You nod at the neighbours you walk by - you can recognise each and every one of them by song alone. But this time you don't stop and chat. Instead, you focus on the new song, tilting your head and following it into the small woods at the edge of the neighbourhood, where flowers bloom and trees tower towards the light blue sky. The music grows louder and louder in your ears until you see a teenager sitting alone amongst the grass and the bushes - a young boy - about your age.

"Hello?" You ask curiously and he looks up, startled, nearly falling back over into the ferns.

"I - Sorry." He stammers back nervously, hurriedly getting to his feet. His eyes and nose are red and cheeks smudged, and he quickly wipes his face, turning slightly away.

"Don't be sorry. Are you alright?"

He shrugs and you sit down cross legged amongst the grass, inviting him to do the same. He reluctantly settles down again and begins picking at the dirt beneath him. There's a moment of silence between you, and you wait for him to speak.

He takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes again, still not meeting your gaze. "Sorry. I just come here a lot. My parents aren't ever home. I just like this place."

"That's okay. I like this place too."

His forehead scrunches questionably, but he nods, and you lean back, still hearing his music all around you - soft and lonesome and calm.

You return to the woods almost every day afterwards, usually finding him there taking walks amongst the trees, humming to himself. Soon enough, weeks pass and you fall into a routine with him; telling each other stories, picking flowers and studying the plants growing there, laughing and recalling weird childhood memories and embarrassing moments.

As the days pass, he smiles more, laughs more, and begins to talk about his achievements in school, his love for playing the piano, his dreams for the future.

Although you can still hear the music of the rest of the souls not so far away in the neighbourhood, you start listening for his, and his song begins to sound comforting and familiar and safe, like home.

"I got a scholarship to this music school," he announces one day, as you two sit in the same spot you met several months ago. He beams as he plays with the grass, the unbridled excitement reaching his eyes.

You hug him and tell him how proud you are of him.

Later that afternoon as you two head out from the forest, the sun going down, you realise that the song in his soul has changed since you first heard it many, many weeks ago. Instead of a stranger's lonesome, almost melancholic tune, you hear threads of happiness intertwining in and out of the flutes and chimes, a certain hopefulness for the future. You smile to yourself.

"What?" He asks curiously as you two split off at the crossroads.

"Nothing." You reply. "I just want to say, I'm glad you were at the woods that day. I'm glad we met."

He smiles and nods gratefully. "Yeah. I'm really glad too."