It's super late. I don't know why I'm making this post. This is just going to be my brain throwing up onto a metaphorical page.

Sometimes you just have to stick it through and figure things out. Sometimes your brain gets all scrambled and you get confused- about everything all at once. The puzzle pieces are everywhere and you can't find half of them and you think you're going to spend your whole life on the floor trying to find answers. You reach your hand inside of your chest and you find a million wires tangled in knots- you're looking for that one bad signal but you're not sure which wire to cut or to tie because everything's everywhere. It's exactly like the time you stuffed two earphones into your pocket and when you got them out again you couldn't tell which was which and ended up breaking both of them trying to separate the two. You wonder if your stomach is going to feel like knots and if whatever's inside of your skull is going to rattle and scrape against your head forever. It sounds oddly relaxing sometimes but you wish it'd just go away, really. You're playing some kind of futuristic chess game with yourself and you don't even know the rules. Somehow the other side of you is smarter than this side of you, which makes no sense but you play along anyways. Sometimes you get so close to threading that string through that needle looking through your epiphany only to have one shake of a hand slip everything away again.

Oh well, you know? Oh well not in a sad or apathetic or resigned kind of way, in a- yeah sometimes it can get pretty messy but oh well because you know you'll climb out the other end sooner or later kind of way. It'll happen. You don't even realize it sometimes- it doesn't take a miracle or a waking-up-one-morning-and-somehow-everything-falls-into-place kind of day- but eventually you look back, maybe after a long long time of hauling your ass down the road in a state of pure exhaustion, and you realize that the tangle you've been trying to take apart for years has slowly unwinded and you're feeling alright- better than alright actually. Or maybe it's still there but it's not such a bad thing, maybe you've made your peace- I'm not going to pretend to know anything about anything but sometimes you just gotta stick it through and see what happens- see if maybe things work out you know? See if things get figured out.